10 Signs It's July in Phoenix

"You know you live in Phoenix when the four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and are you freakin' kidding me?!"
~Author Unknown

We were spoiled in June ... the coolest June on record in nearly 100 years. The kids played outside, we went to the park, we barbecued, and it even felt too cool to get in the pool -- at least to us adults. But now, July has unleashed its fury, more than making up for our picture-perfect June. Forecasters are telling us to expect 114, even 116 this weekend. And we'll only get as low as 90. And all the other signs are here, too. Like:

• Upon returning to the van from the grocery store, the twins immediately scope out both booster seats. If one has even a sliver of shade, they both bolt for it. They argue. They jostle for position. Tears are shed.
• Starting to feel like a vampire : we're losing our tans in July because we're all inside during the day ... we only come out at night.
  
• Breaking a sweat just walking out to your driveway to get the newspaper.
  
• Taking the kids to the community pool and having to banish my Iphone to the beach bag because it's too hot to touch.
• The kids not wanting to swim in our backyard pool during the day because it feels like a bathtub. Adding huge blocks of ice doesn't seem to help.
  
• You see an occasional runner and hope paramedics are nearby ... just in case.
• Tossing aside your strategy to go grocery shopping and run errands early in the day ... it really doesn't matter ... hot is hot.
  
• Wondering if the kids are getting enough exercise from playing hide and seek in the house.
• Watching the boys kick around the soccer ball out back for about 10 minutes and then returning with bright red faces and racing toward the refrigerator for water.
• Getting really jealous when your Facebook friend posts a 4th of July picture of her kids in sweatshirts. You ask where they were and she answers, home -- in Elk Grove (the place you used to live). How quickly I've forgotten.