My Kids and Their Crazy Bedtime Rituals

It's the time of day that most of us parents greet triumphantly: the kids' bedtime. Brett and I are no exception.

With four kids there are two bedtimes. The twins usually hit the sack at about 7:45 and Blake and Nick stay up an extra hour.

Blake and Nick, for the most part, pass the normal test when it comes to bedtime routine ... well there's Nick's sleepwalking, but we'll let that slide since it hasn't happened in a couple weeks. For them it's brush teeth, go to the bathroom, Blake will read in bed with his booklight, and then off to catch some Z's.

Zach and Allie, on the other hand, are in a crazy, let's-make-Mom-and-Dad-run-circles-around- us world of their own. Sometimes I wonder if there's a camera hidden in the room a la Candid Camera.

So this is the world we've been living in when bedtime comes around ... They go potty. Normal enough. Then it's storytime. But wait, it has to be done Zach-and-Allie-style. For starters, they can never agree on one book, so they each pick one. Allie wants all the lights turned out and her book read by the light of Blake's awesome booklight. But that's not all ... Mom or Dad or whoever's reading the story can't just clip the light on the book. Allie MUST hold the light, leading to frustration for the reader when that darn little light doesn't stay shining on the words (it's just 10 more minutes, we tell ourselves, then the rest of the evening is OURS).

Zach then wants his story read the old-fashioned way -- sitting on his bed with the lights on. That's my boy! He loves "Goodnight, Gorilla."

So then it's hugs and kisses, a drink of water, and ice packs. Yes, ice packs. I think the seeds of this were planted a couple months ago when Zach had an "owie" at bedtime. He had asked for an ice pack. Somehow that stuck because night after night he would ask for it. Then as any dutiful sibling would, Allie started asking for one, too.

So when it's bedtime, we gather up the books, the booklight, the cup of water and the ice packs (and I have to give Brett most of the credit for this because he does most of it).

Then they're all tucked in for the night. Or are they?

These two 4-year-olds are brilliant strategists. They know they have us. They know they're now big kids wearing underwear to bed. They know we don't want to get up in the middle of the night to change wet sheets and pajamas. They know we'll do whatever we can to prevent a nighttime accident. They know they can prolong it for a few more minutes.

So this is what we hear about 5 minutes after leaving their room as we dare to envision relaxing for a couple hours before our own bedtime:

"Mommy, I have to go potty again." And, of course, a little shadow is following. "Me, too."

Calgon, take me away ...

A Day at the Zoo

Something happens when you have four kids who are spaced out over seven years.

One day you wake up and realize family outings are getting increasingly difficult. Specifically, it's a challenge to please everybody. You have to catch Blake, now creeping up on 12, in a good mood or bribe him with food or treats of some kind. Catch him on a bad day and he'll moan and groan the whole trip.

And, as I'm sure is the case in most families, Child #2 tends to grow up a little faster than Child #1. Child # 1 might have enjoyed things like the zoo until age 8, 9, or 10. But Child #2, seeing that his older sibling objects, must mimic that sentiment. Such is the case in our household.


Here's Blake earlier this year on the carousel at the zoo. Clearly, he's thrilled.

So, I've given up taking Blake and Nick to the zoo.

Having four kids, one of whom is entering pre-pubescence and another who so desperately wants to follow him there, also makes you realize how quickly the innocence and wonderment of childhood zooms right past you. And that's what's kicking me in the pants to make sure I appreciate and enjoy the little things, like taking Zach and Allie to the zoo and watching their excitement in petting the goats, feeding the giraffes ... using the public bathroom.

A couple weeks ago when my parents were here we took a trip out to an area wildlife zoo. It was a little toasty, but the place was deserted. We had it all to ourselves.

I watch and wonder how much longer my Zach and Allie will excitedly feed quarter after quarter into the rundown bubblegum machine that spits out stinky animal food into their little hands so they can dispense it to the ducks and fish and ostriches and whatever other animal is lucky enough to be in their path.

How much longer they will run from one exhibit to the next, squealing, "Look at him, Mommy. He's cuuute!"

How much longer until my two youngest don't want to go to the zoo anymore?

I'll push it out of mind. I can't think about that now ... we're going to the park (OK ... maybe not at this moment ... but it sounded like a good way to end it) :).

Angel (or devil?) of the Morning

One thing I've learned over my parenting years is that when your child is in that 3-4ish age range, how the first few seconds out of bed in the morning goes is a good indicator of how your morning will fare.

Sometimes our little ones are in their sweetest, most angelic state during those magical moments between being asleep and rousing to wakefulness.

Zachary is very predictable. He's usually the first one to loudly pitter-patter out of bed -- you'd think he has Michael Phelps-sized flipper feet the way they echo loud slaps down the ceramic-tile-floor hallway.

I'm usually either still in bed or getting into or out of the shower. With his tossled-about golden bedhead, his eyes still droopy and his baby blue blankie firmly in hand, he has one of two requests:

"I'm hungwee for bekfest." OR "I want to watch Mickeeeyyy Mouse."

Allie, on the other hand, is as unpredictable as the Arizona monsoon season.

Sometimes we call her "Little Miss Sunshine." She'll bounce out of her room, Tigger-style. "Gooood mornin, everrrybudy." Then she'll proudly tell me, "Mommy, I slept good." This after she's grown accustomed to my routinely asking her how she slept.

But other times, and thank goodness it's not all that often, she turns into a little possessed child -- someone else's child, I'm convinced.

Yesterday morning, first thing, she SCREAMED ... "Mommy, I want to watch Monsters, Inc."

Of course, this is one of the movies that's not in our billion-title collection. We DVR'd it once and it erased itself after a couple weeks.

"Mommmyyyy. I know we have it ... I've seen IT. I .... WANT ... TO ... WATCH ... MONSTERS .... INKKK!! Her face is tomato red and she sounds like a crazed NFL football coach whose star player made a rookie mistake.

"Allie, sweetheart," I say, trying to remain composed. "We don't have it anymore. Why don't we eat breakfast," trying the good ol' diversion tactic.

"I ... DON'T ... WANT ... BREAKFAST!!!"

No wings for Allie today.

Top 10 Things I Hear When I'm With the Twins

If there's one thing I've learned since Zach and Allie were born 3 1/2 years ago, it's that people are fascinated with twins. And who can blame them? I've always thought they were interesting, too. While it doesn't happen as much now that they're older and are often running in opposite directions when we're somewhere like the park or library, I've been frequently peppered with questions and comments over the years.

Here are some of the most common:

1. "Oh, a boy and a girl. How perfect. You got it all done at once." I hear this a lot. Obviously it's during the day while Blake and Nick are at school. Oftentimes I'll tell the unassuming comment-maker, "Actually I have two older boys." Usually eyes will grow wide open and a "Wow!" or "You've got your hands full" will spill forth.
2. "Are they twins?" Yep. "Oh, they look so much alike." Really?? I still don't think so. Similar, I guess, but just like any brother and sister.
   
3. "Do twins run in your family?" Surprisingly, a lot of people ask me this. I guess the reason I say it surprises me is that nowadays most twins are the result of infertility treatments (not in our case). Maybe that's only common knowledge to us living in the multiples world. Regardless, my latest answer to the question is "They do now."
4. "Were they a surprise?" Yep!
   
5. "Who was born first?" People want to know this ... and quite frequently. For the record, Zach was born at 10:25 a.m. and Allie at 10:39 a.m. (I think that's right). If you know their personalities, you'd think that in-charge Allie would have been born first. But as I think about it more, it does reflect their personalities. Zach is so protective of Allie that he wanted to go out into the world and check things out before he gave her the "OK" to make her appearance.
6. From other moms of twins. "I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't." Oh ... thanks for the encouragement. Unfortunately, I'm realizing this as each year passes. But isn't this the case with raising any child ... not just twins? The temper tantrums end and the back-talking begins. A few years after toilet training frustrations are at the forefront, the discussion over how far away from home they can ride their bike takes center stage. Getting your pre-schooler to eat his (or her) dinner is soon replaced with getting them to do their homework. The list goes on ... with twins it's double the drama.
   
7. "Oh, you're so lucky. I've always wanted twins." Yes, we are very lucky, fortunate, blessed to have Zach and Allie (and Blake and Nicky). But honestly, raising two children who are different ages is easier than raising two the same age, in my opinion. If nothing else, it's really hard to find one-on-one time with each (especially when you have two other children, too).
   
8. "Are they identical?" No, boy/girl twins are fraternal.
   
9. "They're so cute." Yep. But, just like any other child, sometimes they're not. You should have seen Allie when she poured bright blue craft paint all over her beige carpet -- adorable! Or when we're at the grocery store and they fight over who gets to hold the box of Life cereal. Charming.
   
10. "Are they best friends?" Yes, and much more. One of the most special things about having twins is watching their special bond grow. 80 percent of the time they get along great. They're very protective of each other and if the other isn't in sight, they always ask "Where's Zachy?" or "Where's Allie?" Sometimes they get into nasty fights, usually battling for a toy or who gets to do something -- normal sibling stuff. But sometimes they remind me of an old married couple, who bicker about the little things. "Allie, don't push the car that way, do it this way." And, for better or worse, they feed off of each other. If one has a laughing fit, the other starts and it just gets crazier from there. Or it could be a tantrum ... or running around the house ... or wanting to help me cook. Everything is times two (and sometimes times four) around here.
    

"There are two things in life for which
we are never truly prepared: Twins."
~ Humorist Josh Billings